First written Feb l989
Finished Mar l996
There were three pictures hanging on the walls of my study. One was me, the other my wife and the third my wife, my daughter Ruchi and Koli. When my baby beloved came to me, she would point to them one by one and said, "That's Papi, that's Mami, and that's Mami, me and Koli. Koli was dead. And I love Koli." It was so nice to hear the sweet voice of my little honey and enjoy the way she talked to me. I felt as if we were back to the happy days when we were together with Koli.
I remembered when he was to be brought to us we hesitated. Magi, my wife's sister, said on the telephone, "A grey one, want it or not?" My wife was irresolute and couldn't make an immediate decision. So I said, "We throw him away if he looks ugly." She agreed.
When we saw the little animal presented by Magi, we were almost surprised. Before us was a smart puppy having none of that mouse color as earlier described. And he was so cute and so charming that we got a love for him instantly. We were glad that Magi had done a wonderful job for us, as at the time we still hadn't any baby and really needed a company. Koli served the purpose exactly. We were pleased not only with his naiveness, but also with his funny way of playing things. So we kept teasing him, thinking he would be mad. But he remained calm and peaceful. Nothing we did could make him irritated.
Later, when he grew up a little, he was getting to be naughty. All day long he kept running here and there, as if there had been so many amusing things. For the sake, he took almost all available objects as his toys. Once he got interested in my socks. He repeatedly brought them from lavatory to balcony without paying any attention to my angry warning. I slapped him each time he followed the routine. NO USE. He was obstinate, just like me. Otherwise he was a good boy. He followed our instructions to eat in the kitchen and sit down for anything we would give him. And, unless he couldn't help it, he wouldn't take a leak inside the room. In particular, when he was told to weigh his body, he would jump onto the scale immediately, and, if we insisted, would swallow back his vomit. We were proud of this. Indeed, he was not to be despised for his bastard heritage. In our mind's eyes, he was even smarter than those famous pets, be they Pekingeses, Pomeranians or Chihuahuas. Once he showed me his alertness by informing me of a coming peril. I was on my bed sleeping. He woke me up and told me with repeated hasty coming and going that something was wrong. I rushed to the kitchen. There a big fire was burning on the stove. I fought it hardly. Koli kept saying "Come on!" by yelling loudly. When the fire was wiped out finally, he jumped upon me and licked me agitatedly. I rewarded him with a pound of liver, his favorite. It was the first time he enjoyed so much.
He caused us only one trouble: Thinking he was one of the family members, he used to claim his right as such. So, every time we were going to go outside, he asked to follow. If we failed to meet his demands at due course, he would sleep on our bed or sofa as a protest. We knew because he left his hairs there. Certainly, we were supposed not to punish him for this, but when he did that again, we would wave him to us and show him where the evidence was. He would run away with his tail between his legs before we were able to scold him. We loved to see him feeling remorse -- it was as if he had done something terrible and we were going to kill him.
Another thing that amused us was his greed for the thing he desired. In fact, he was so unabashed about his avidity that when he found something tasteful in your hands, he would sit in front of you persistently and stare upon you bluntly until you felt it a sin not to share it with him. Only he refused to eat anything not delicious. If you gave him food not flavorful, he would rather keep an empty stomach than have it. He was really a gourmet.
But, despite all his virtues, I was still bothered by his stupid courting act-- he just didn't know how to fight with others. So, each time there was a bitch lingering outside seeking for a mate, I had to help drive away all his competitors and serve as a pimp for him. Even so, he still had difficulty conquering his seducer -- he had no idea how to force a satisfactory mating. As nine times out of ten he failed to demonstrate his male prowess and enjoy the ecstasy of utmost intimacy, I couldn't but comfort him with my hands. That's why every time he got frustrated outside he came to me with a secret beg. He knew, without me, he was unable to get rid of that instinct drive.
Because he was so close to us, we had been trying our best not to make him feel alienated. So our each departure from him never lasted for more than 24 hours. The only exception was when we were on our honeymoon trip. We didn't know how he missed us until we came back from our l2-days journey. He kissed us for almost a century. Never before had we been welcomed so heartily.
Once, on Eve of a Chinese Lunar New Year Day, we let him go with us for an outing. He was so excited that all the way he kept chasing his tail in a circle and running in front of us to serve as our guide. We went to places as far as a late vice-present's memorial tomb at Taishan, a town of Taipei County. There we took pictures and bought him sausages. He was quite pleased. It seemed it was the happiest day in his life.
When Ruchi came to us, we began to be busy. Sometimes we had to ignore Koli totally. He was sullen for this. But, later on, when he was getting familiar with our baby, he learned his bit. He would sit quietly in front of her and look at her curiously. It was as if the two were getting along with each other in a peaceful sereneness. And they did have a wonderful togetherness in the subsequent two years. During that period we often saw them playing as close friends. If nothing unfortunate happened, such a cozy relation would have lasted much longer.
By then Koli was almost eight years old and I had opened another restaurant near our place. As he hated to be left alone at home, I let him stay at my shop. At the beginning I was unable to keep him quiet - he barked at all customers coming in, just like he did the first time he saw his image in the mirror or the first time he saw people on the TV. But soon he got used to it. He no longer made noises during my working hours. For that reason, I became increasingly unable to know if he stayed safely inside my restaurant or not. That's the biggest mistake I ever made.
That day, when the accident took place, I was sitting in my store for a break. Koli walked back from outside with great pains. It seemed he had been seriously injured. I tried to help him, but he bit me each time I touched his legs. "There must be a wound inside," I told my wife. She said he should be treated. So, we took him to a well-known animal hospital at downtown Taipei. Because Koli showed no external hurt, we were asked to leave him there for an overnight observation. Yet back at home we felt quite uneasy. So, at night, after I finished doing my business, we went to see koli again. It was quite late. He was alone in his cage. We called him and offered him beef. He showed no appetite. He only sat up languidly. We caressed him to make him feel good. But he remained weak and feeble. When we were leaving, he looked at us with his pleading eyes. My wife felt so sad that she couldn't hold her tears.
The next day, learning that the hospital could do nothing good to Koli there, we took him back. He was no longer able to control his feces and urine. And he was so dirty that I had to clean him with a shower. But, as I was in a hurry to go back to my restaurant, I failed to do a complete hair drying for him. Later, when I came home again, I found he was trembling inside our bathroom. In no time I phoned my brother Kuangsheng to help me. We together carried him to see another veterinarian at National Taiwan University. There we were told that a sickening animal like that had to be fed with an injector and warmed with a heater. I followed the advice. But it was too late. He lay motionless at day and groaned at night. It looked as if he had lost all his energies and strengths.
We didn't know exactly when Koli passed away. He looked well the previous day. I took it for a sigh of recovering and thought his life might be kept. But I was wrong. That night, I went to bed without hearing any unpleasant sound. When I woke up at 4 a.m., I was seized by a strange silence. I came at once to where Koli slept. His body was already icy. I informed my wife of the news. Both of us were overwhelmed by grief.
I called Kuangsheng again. We together carried Koli's body to a nearby river and buried him there. When we were back on top of the riverbank, I took a look at the grave and stayed there for a moment. Then, almost carried away, I said to him, "Good Bye, Koli."
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