A Dream Never Realized

Klin Cheng 

December, 1996 

     Sometimes you had a good time together with someone else. And sometimes you hadn’t. When you hadn’t, you missed those moments and expected such grand time would come again to you as wished. Yet almost all the while you were disappointed at finding the fact that you were no longer blessed, and no matter how hard you tried you got no way to gain free access to the person you longed to spend all your free hours with. For the sake you had to hold in your mind all that represent your whims about men and women and their most unusual relationship and say nothing about the fervency of your unsatisfied desires until you make sure the lady to whom you take a fancy will respond rightly to your tender feeling and is ready to catch the flame of it. That’s why you always look forward to having days when you can fairly enjoy pleasant chats with the beauty you adore so much. 

      But how can such thing come to you as anticipated? How can you make the object of your affection understand what you’re seeking for is not a knot to be tied, but a bond that will always keep you connected to  your love whether it induces physical affinity or not. It’s an intimacy that requires two souls sharing the same belief. Unless you make your spiritual mate learn it and convince her to get involved in it you can never obtain that kind of rapport. And unless you make yourself totally trustworthy and reliable you will never succeed in showing the one dear to your heart the meaning of this sacred fellowship. So, actually, you could do nothing but turn yourself into a fanatic obsessed with something that is grossly fancy-built while regretting being constantly denied the chance to relate yourself.  Really, it’s stupid of you to believe such pursuits could lead you to where the paradise is and by devotion and simple demonstration of amorousness alone you could make your romantic offering matter to your best beloved－ that seems a dream too far away. Still, you wouldn’t quit. You would try again and again until you lose all the acumen and stamina needed for the quest, for without this being done you couldn’t even keep an open mind to goodness, not to mention hold communion with your most favored companion.